Everything Old Is New Again
by LiterallyMare
Summary: Fifteen years ago, something was taken from Severus Snape. When she is returned to him, will he be able to unravel the mystery of her disapperance in time to save her and give him a second chance at the life he'd thought he'd lost?
1. Prolouge

Prologue

Memories assaulted Severus in his dreams, which was why he often suffered from insomnia. There was nothing more he wanted to escape then the memories, some of the best time in his life and some of the worst. They could be avoided during the day, and sometimes he could steel himself against them at night, but in sleep they could come unbidden.

_...The house was small and tidy despite it's worn down exterior. The first thing that caught his eye was a large book case, ceiling to floor, holding dozens of well worn leather bound books. He took a step closer to examine the titles and found a worthy library of a little bit of almost every magical subject._

_"I always thought it was worth knowing a little bit of everything," A feminine voice said behind him, almost making him startle._

_"Yes," He agreed, turning to look at the voice's owner. "But it helps to have a specialty subject."_

_"I do." The small girl with black hair and pale blue eyes nodded, then smiled a little as a look of recognition spread across her face. "I've seen you at Hogwarts. Always with a book in your hand."_

_"Yes," His ears burned a little at the thought that she'd probably seen him being tortured by his peers. But the look in her eyes was kind, giving him just the tiniest glimmer of hope he could move beyond his school reputation now that he'd graduated..._

This night they weren't clear memories, just fleeting touches of sensation and flashes of image. Pale blue eyes. His name spoken by a voice he hadn't heard in so long. The soft brush of lips against his. Then the startling jerk back to reality, back to his bed where he slept alone.

_...Sitting on the roof, millions of stars scattered above them. He didn't quite see the appeal of sitting outdoors in the dead of night, but the head on his shoulder made all the difference in the world. Her small body was tucked next to his, so close he could feel each breath she took against his side._

_"It's beautiful." She whispered to him. "I feel so small...so insignificant."_

_"You are small." He replied dryly._

_"Arse," Her reply was oddly affectionate._

_In the darkness a little smile crossed his face. He turned his head and kissed the top of her head with a shyness that was almost embarrassing. Her hair smelled like apples and he felt intoxicated by it._

_"Severus?" She lifted her head off his shoulder and in the dim light he could see her turn to face him._

_"Yes?" He replied cautiously, almost certain his first attempt at affection had been met with disgust._

_Instead of replying, he felt the softness of her lips against his. For a moment he was too surprised to return the kiss, then he felt something inside him loosen and instinct took over. His heart was pounding in his chest as their lips pressed together for several seconds that felt like an eternity._

_His first kiss..._

Darkness rose around him and he knew it was still a few hours before sunrise. He could use the extra hours of sleep, with the new crop of students just two days away from arriving at Hogwarts. But when he closed his eyes he kept seeing the figure in his dream, smiling at him from the depths of his memory.

_...Standing at Platform 9 3/4, watching the Hogwarts Express billow white smoke into the sky. She looked at the train, then back at him with a sigh. They'd only had a summer together and her education was important to her, but he could see, or at least hoped he saw, the sadness in her eyes._

_"I should go." She smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'll be home for Christmas."_

_"I thought you said you normally stayed at school?" He tried to ignore the tightness in his throat._

_"I've never had a reason to come home before," Her eyes met his. "I do now."_

_Of course he wasn't good enough with emotions to tell her the quivering, warm feeling her words brought to him. Instead he put his hand on her shoulder and kissed her softly, still feeling a bit awkward about showing affection. She returned it and when she pulled back there were tears in her eyes. Neither of them said another word, neither of them knew the right ones..._

If few people knew about the woman who Severus Snape had loved, even fewer knew of the woman who just may have loved Severus Snape. Unfortunately, he would never know if she did for sure, though he always held the belief that she had. All they had was a brief summer together and a handful of letters that he still kept hidden away with any other reminders that he was human.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The morning light shining through the only window in Severus's dungeon bedroom stung his eyes as he opened them. Since he was waking, at some point sleep must have returned to him, this time, mercifully without dreams. There was no point in dwelling on past losses when there was nothing he could do about them. He'd just do what he always did, move on and concentrate on the present.

The present, however, wasn't looking as good as he'd hoped. Severus wasn't a man with flowery visions of the future, but being able to life a quiet, un bothered life as Professor and Potions Master was all he was currently asking out of life. It didn't seem too much to ask, despite his past sins. And despite Dumbledore's insistence the Dark Lord would rise again.

Of course the old man would have to be right.

There were only a few days left until the new term, really the last thing he needed was more stress. There would be plenty of that with the new crop of dunderheads he was expected to teach, not to mention almost all of the idiots from the year before back again. Even after all the years he'd been teaching, the first two weeks of September were full of headaches. And cleaning. And making antidotes.

And on top of all that, he had to go to Albus Dumbledore and tell him that all his years of stubborn paranoia turned out to be worthwhile. If that wouldn't be a bitter pill to swallow, he didn't know what would be.

Without even thinking about it, his hand shifted to rub his forearm. It was still very faint, just over the edge of visibility, but it was there. The Dark Mark. The proof he'd once done things that he would spend the rest of his life regretting. And soon, according to Dumbledore's plan, his penance would come.

No wonder he'd been dreaming about Seraphina. The dreams always seemed to come when he was going through strife. That summer had been one of the calmest periods of his life, falling between the ending of his final year at Hogwarts and the time he took the Dark Mark. And the girl he'd shared it with had been one of the few people in his life that didn't end up hating him in the end. Most likely because the end came too sudden and too soon.

A few days after his schooling at Hogwarts ended Severus had been walking the street late in the night. It was something he did sometimes when he couldn't sleep, and the walls of the broken down house in Spinner's End seemed to be collapsing in on him. This turned out to be the last of such walks, in fact, but that was the not the reason he remembered it clearly fifteen years later.

He'd come across some Muggle teenagers threatening an obviously drunk man with knives outside of a pub. Of course he recognized Cecil Starkley at first glance. He'd been in the History of Magic textbooks, hailed as Britain's greatest dragon tamer at the end the book was written. Since then, however, Starkley had become a drunkard who was known for his alcohol induced escapades and there were suspicions he was cruel to the three daughters he was left to raise after his wife's death.

Severus was poised on taking the Dark Mark, but he wasn't a completely cruel individual. So he gave the Muggles a good scare and offered to apparate Starkley back to his home to make sure his own stupidity didn't get him into trouble again. Imagine Severus's surprise when Cecil turned to him upon being set safely on his doorstep and gave him his youngest daughter's hand in marriage. Like he was tipping a valet service! And for some reason, he had merely nodded and went his way, not wanting to cause more trouble with the man.

The next morning he returned to the little house that was not much more then a shack, determined to tell the man he would not be taking his daughter's hand. Instead Starkley introduced him to the girl after he'd only taken two steps from the door and once he got a good look at her he forgot his complaint. He was only eighteen at the time and she was a lovely thing, small but shapely, with hair black as his own and ice blue eyes. But the tipping point was the ceiling to floor bookshelf she standing in front of, her own books on a wide variety of magical subjects.

Pretty girls were good, pretty girls that could carry on an intelligent conversation were much better. And because of that weakness, and perhaps the realization the next time he saw Lily she'd been Mrs. Potter, he decided it wouldn't hurt getting to know Seraphina before he broke the contract. And after a week of visiting her every afternoon he decided not to call off the contract at all.

It was true he'd been in love with Lily Evans since they were children, but she'd rejected him and taken up with one of the boys who made his Hogwarts years hell with bullying. So it was Seraphina who gave him his first kiss, and Seraphina whom he spent hours talking to over the brief summer term until she was set to return to Hogwarts for her sixth year of school. And it was Seraphina, when he put her on the Hogwarts Express, he hoped would give him a chance at a normal family life.

Like most hopes in Severus's life, this one also ended abruptly and in disappointment. In October Seraphina disappeared from her bed at Hogwarts. They'd searched for two weeks before they finally called off attempts to find her. Severus knew in his heart that if Seraphina was going to run away she would have come to him instead of disappearing. But a lot of things were happening as the Dark Lord slowly gained his power and soon it was forgotten.

Three years later, October was solidified as the worst month of the year to him when Lily, his first love, was killed along with her husband. The bastard hadn't been able to protect her, but neither had Severus. He'd even made himself Dumbledore's man, in hopes that the old wizard would save her, and he didn't.

They resided inside of him, the love he'd never experienced and the love taken away from him so prematurely. Most of the time he could hold them at bay, but they always remained in the back ground. They were always in his heart, even if some days Severus wondered if he still had one. They wouldn't leave him ever.

A double edged blade...both blessing and curse. 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

When Hagrid banged on the door to his quarters and pulled him away from the book he'd been reading by the fire, Severus Snape assumed he was being summoned to the hospital wing because yet another student had stolen potions or made one illegally only to have it go awry. He'd fix the little dunderhead and make sure they paid for it for rest of the term. There was always one every year that would decide to make a love potion or a luck potion, and it always went wrong. Of course they never learned, and never would.

As he passed Dumebldore, who just simply nodded at him, Severus expected to see a sixth year student behind the screen, probably misshapen, maimed or vomiting. In fact, the name Neville Longbottom was already on the tip of his tongue as he moved to see the figure on the gurney. It was not, however, Longbottom or any other of the students in fourth year. Or any year. He stopped dead in his tracks as he found himself looking down into a face he'd long ago come to terms with never seeing again.

Seraphina Starkley.

Severus felt the strength go out of his knees and he was grateful for the chair beside the gurney to sink into. Normally he didn't show much emotion beyond agitation, but right now he felt like he had taken a blow in the solar plexus and he was very thankful he was alone as he studied the girl laying there before him.

Sera was alive. Seventeen years later, she was still alive. Severus hadn't allowed himself to believe that she could be when she hadn't been found in the first month after her disappearance.

He looked down at the sleeping girl, feeling his heart in his throat. It was as if she'd been pulled out of his memories and placed on the bed before him. He was sure if he touched her lips right now they would still hold the same softness they had when they touched his for the first time.

He was sorely tempted to reach out and touch her, but he held back. It took him a moment to realize why, and then he felt another blow, though this one softer then the first. It had been seventeen years since Sera disappeared. For all logical purposes she should be in her early thirties, only a few years behind him in age. But the reason she looked so much like the girl from his memories was because nothing had changed about her.

There were things in the Dark Arts that could prevent someone from aging, several curses that could lock a person into a stasis state. They were risky hexes and it was not uncommon for the cursed person to die coming out of it. Others were left damaged, some had amnesia that couldn't be cured and some came out of it fine.

But then there was a darker possibility, one he couldn't even begin to consider just yet. There were also charms and glamours that could disguise one person as another. It wasn't a likely scenario, as even the best of these only lasted hours. However, he wanted to keep all options in mind. It was better for him if he kept reminding himself it might not be her or she might be damaged. Then he wouldn't have to lose her a second time.

Severus finally gave in to temptation and reached out to cautiously brush a piece of black hair out of her sleeping face. She only gave a soft sigh in return. He ran his hand softly over her head, feeling the emotion well uncomfortably in his throat. She was so beautiful, so unchanged, he didn't want to frighten her should she wake, but he couldn't seem to stop touching her. It had been so long since he'd allowed himself even just to touch another, he mused as he delicately traced the line of her cheekbone with one finger.

"It's really her, Severus," Dumbledore said from behind him, his blue eyes twinkling behind his spectacles.

"How can you be sure?" He replied irritably as he took his hand away, neither pleased he'd been caught in an act of affection nor that the old man had interrupted it.

"Every glamour has a way to see through it." The Headmaster smiled serenely as he came to stand beside Severus. "Seraphina has been returned, Severus."

"Are her memories in tact?" Severus carefully phrased the question so he didn't have to come out and ask the question burning into his mind right now. He wasn't sure he was ready to know if she remembered him or not, the thought of her being back was both wonderful and frightening.

"I'm afraid we don't that yet," Dumbledore looked at the Potions Master, a hint of sympathy in his voice. "She hasn't regained consciousness since Hagrid brought her in."

Severus didn't reply, he only gave the old wizard a look that indicated he wanted him to go on. He could let go of the premise that it might not be Sera, but he was still faced with fact that she might be damaged beyond repair.

"Harry Potter and his friends found her at the edge of the forest. She spoke to them briefly, told them all she remembered was waking up in the woods. And then she collapsed. They got Hagrid and he brought her here. Madame Pomfrey has examined her, and after healing some cuts and bruises, she has pronounced Sera to be in good health."

"But she hasn't come around since then?" He betrayed just a hint of concern in his voice.

"She will." Dumbledore said with certainty. "And sooner rather then later, I'm sure."

Again Severus found himself looking down at Sera. He remembered her as intelligent, vibrant, sometimes infuriatingly stubborn. After that summer he'd been eager to get to know her deeper, to find out what else she was like, but then she hadn't returned from Hogwarts. It was hard to think of her as a different, damaged being. And yet there was that tiny glimmer of hope she'd open her eyes and nothing would have changed. A foolish hope, considering how much he'd changed over the years. But it was there none the less.

"I'll stay," He said finally in a quiet voice. "For awhile, at least. When she wakes she might be frightened or confused. Madame Pomfrey might need help handling her if she were to become hysterical."

Of course, Dumbledore could see right through this bluff. And Severus knew it. 


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The first thing Seraphina Starkley felt was a heavy pounding in her temples. This was a good thing though, because pain meant she was still alive. Her mind seem muddled, but she had a few snatches of memory. She remembered stumbling through the dark forrest, terrified to keep going and even more terrified to stay in the place she'd woken up a few hours before that.

Her eyes opened very slowly and she was glad that the room she was in was dimly lit. It seemed to be some sort of infirmary, she guessed by the hospital like bed she was laying on. Her bed was sectioned off by several large fabric screens, which she found a little unsettling. In the back of her mind, a thought floated by that they didn't want the other students to see her. But why would there be students here?

It was then she noticed she wasn't alone. There was a man sitting very still and very quiet at her bedside, watching her intensely with black eyes. The man was imposing, but she didn't feel uncomfortable in his presense. His greasy, shoulder length hair was black as her own and contrasted harshly with his sallow skin. The large hooked nose was the predominant feature of his face and seen through kind eyes could be called diginified. And for some very odd reason, she was seeing this man through kind eyes.

"Am I...?" She was surprised to hear how ragged her voice sounded. "Where am I?"

Severus felt his throat restrict momentarily with emotion. She was awake and she was speaking. So far it was more then he had allowed himself to hope for, but they hadn't gotten into coherent sentences, and that beast lurking in the corner, her memories. He took a small, deep breath and steadied himself. Usually he was so good with hiding his emotions, he hadn't felt this out of control in years.

"You are in the infirmary."

"The castle," Sera nodded slightly, remembering coming out of the woods and heading for the great grey turrets rising into the sky. "It was the first thing I saw when I came out of the woods."

"Yes," Severus nodded and turned to look over his shoulder, past the high screens to the shadow of a figure on the other side. "Madame Pomfrey, please send someone to tell Headmaster Dumbledore that she's awake."

She frowned a little, repeating that name slowly. "Dumbledore. I know that name."

"Do you?" He turned back to look at her, feeling his stomach twitch with nervousness. "Do you remember anything about that name?"

"Dumbledore..." Sera repeated again, closing her eyes momentarily. They snapped open when the answer suddenly came to mind. "Hogwarts. I'm at Hogwarts?"

"Yes. Yes you are." Severus nodded, suddenly not sure if he hoped Sera's memory was in tact or not. He'd been very different when she'd known him, and so much had changed he didn't even begin to wonder how he could ever explain it all to her.

If it had been anyone else, he wouldn't have been so tortured. But the relationship he'd had with Sera had been one of the most pure of his entire life. Perhaps because it only lasted one summer. However, that didn't mean he hadn't carried the memory of it with him all these years. Memory that once someone didn't think he was a repulsive monster. The only one, perhaps, considering even Lily grew to despise him in the end.

"Students aren't allowed in the woods," She frowned. "What was I doing out there? I just remember waking up out there. Trying to get away..."

"Away from what?" Severus asked slowly. "Do you remember?"

"I don't. I just know it was something horrible."

The girl fell into silence as she sat up and tucked her long legs beneath her. Severus felt a dizzying sense of deja vu as he watched her expressions and movements. They were unchanged, just like the rest of her. He studied her like one would study a fascinating but slightly frightening wild beast. So deep he was in his watching he didn't notice that Dumbledore had joined them until the old wizard spoke.

"Seraphina Starkley. You have been returned to us." Dumbledore's blue eyes sparkled behind his spectacles. "It is very good to see you."

"Professor Dumbledore," A slight smile of recognition touched Sera's lips.

Severus fought to keep the bitter jealously he felt rising in his throat off of his face. He'd sat with her until she woke up and she made no signs of remembering him. But she remembered Dumbledore?

"Madame Pomfrey will be in to check on you in a few minutes." Dumbledore nodded genially. "But first, I would like to know what you remember. If you don't mind sharing it with us?"

"I remember coming out of the woods, seeing the castle..." Sera shrugged slightly. "Do you mean before that? It seems so jumbled."

"Try and tell us, if you can." The Headmaster urged her gently. "What's the last thing you remember before the woods?"

Sera closed her eyes and concentrated. It all seemed like a dream, shredded to pieces by awakening and scattered to the far corners of her mind. She could see a few faces, a small house, a flock of chickens. But what was right before the woods?

"Books.." Her eyes squeezed shut tighter as if she was trying to force the memories out."I was studying...for something important. I think it was a test. Something to do with plants."

She opened her eyes and looked at each of the men in turn, her pretty features set in a serious expression. "Why am I having such trouble remembering things? And why was I out in the woods in my nightgown?"

"I'm afraid we can't answer the second question," Dumbledore began. "But you have been through a traumatic experience, Sera. You were a student here at Hogwarts and one night you disappeared from your bed. We searched for you for a long time, but you've only just returned."

"How long is a long time?" Her eyes seemed to cloud with suspicion.

It was Severus this time who answered, in a quiet voice. "Fifteen years."

"Dear Merlin!" Sera gasped in horror. "I've been gone for fifteen years?"

"I'm afraid it is so." Dumbledore took the helm of conversation again, adding in a gentle tone. "What do you remember about your family, Sera?"

She felt a wave of dread sweep through her body, realizing they could very well all be dead after so many years. Even if she didn't clearly remember them, it was still a sobering thought. And if they were alive, would they want to see her? Another bad feeling came to her when she tried to think of them, though this one was not connected to worries about them being dead.

"We were poor," Her voice was hesitant as her eyes closed and she concentrated on relaying the images swirling around her mind. "My mother...she wasn't there for most of my life. I think she died when I was young. And I see two girls...older girls...my sisters? The oldest one was different from us, she was a squib..my father was ashamed of her."

The change in her voice was noticable as her father's image rose in her mind. "When Mama died he started drinking alot. And when my sisters left, he drank even more. He was worried about his legacy...because he didn't have a son. For some reason I'm seeing chickens, but there was something different about them..."

When she trailed off, Dumbledore urged her on again. "Do you recall anything else?"

"My father wanted a son..." Sera frowned deeply at this admission. "But he got three girls. And yet, I remember a boy. A few years older then me. His hair was black too...and greasy. Pale skin, big nose...dark eyes. We were close...but he wasn't my brother...he was my...well..I have this image of us kissing..."

Her blue eyes snapped open suddenly and she turned to the black haired man. He fit the description of the boy perfectly, and the more she looked at him the more familair the dark, glittering eyes became. The shape of his lips, the large nose, and that greasy hair. He was sitting before her right now.

"Severus?" She whispered.

At that moment, Severus felt more terrified then he'd had in years. She remembered him, she was looking right at him with recognition in her eyes and his name on her lips. Earlier he had felt jealous that she remembered Dumbledore, but suddenly he wished she hadn't remembered him. How would he ever explain what he'd done in the last decade and a half to her?

"It is me." He confirmed with a slight nod, feeling too open as she continued to gaze at him with those big blue eyes of hers. She was part of an old life, one he'd lost to the Dark Lord and never thought he'd be able to repiece again. And yet, here she was. Alive, and remembering him.

"We were...dating?" Sera's lips curved into a slight smile. "One summer...my father introduced us...didn't he?"

Severus briefly considered how much of the truth he should tell her at this moment. "Your father..." He saw the little smile on her lips and felt his control slip through his fingers. "Your father gave me your hand a few days after your seventeenth birthday."

Dumbledore looked over at Severus briefly, then back to Sera, who seemed a little surprised, but not upset in the least. To the contrary, she was relieved to think she had ties to at least one other living person. She had the distinct feeling that if she were to show up on either of her sister's doorsteps she would not be welcome. And her father, she knew without asking that he was gone, with a certainity she'd only felt a few times in her life before and were hazy whispers of memory at this point.

She was curious about this man sitting before her, but fatigue was starting to show on her face. Though she'd only been conscious for less then an hour, it felt like she'd run a marathon. And who knows, maybe she had. Right now she just wanted to sleep some more. Everything else could wait until morning. Except one thing niggling at her.

"Can someone conjure me a mirror?" Sera asked the two men beside her.

Severus knew the intent of her request the moment she'd voiced it and conjured the mirror anyways. The girl looked exhausted and for a few days her health was still on the precarious side. Too much of an upset might endanger her as her body adjusted to being back to normal life again. Everything was going so well, it was a chance he didn't want to take. He exhaled slightly as he turned the small silver mirror in her direction and waited for her reaction.

"I'm the same." Sera swallowed hard, her eyes widening with fear when she saw her reflection. "How can I be the same?"

Severus was looking for the right words when he saw the girl swoon. He reached out without thinking and steadied her, carefully guiding her to lay back down against the pillows. The last thing he wanted to see was her stop thriving. Even though she was talking and remembering some things, her body was still weak from the hex.

"You were put under a a cruel hex," Dumbledore explained patiently as he stood up, sensing Sera needed some space. "It put you in a state of stasis, where you did not age and did not know what was around you. It was as if you went to sleep, and now you've finally woken up."

He walked to the edge of the screens and offered the girl a gentle smile. "Rest, Sera. Though you've been dormant for the last fifteen years, you've been through alot tonight and if your body wants sleep, you should let it have just that."

Dumbledore disappeared, but Severus stayed, watching Sera closely. He could see the confusion and distress flicker across her face, and he couldn't blame her for having those emotions. Her big blue eyes moved onto him, studying him closely. Was she disappointed with what she saw? With what the boy she had remembered had become? And she didn't even know anything yet past his appearance. How much more disappointed she would be once she knew about his life!

"Sera?" He said quietly.

"It's alot to take in," She replied, her voice low and husky with emotion.

"Yes, it is." Severus agreed with a slight nod.

"Everything's passed." Sera buried her face into the pillow to hide her tears. "I've lost so much time."

Severus watched, unable to do anything as he heard his once intended break down into quiet sobs. Obviously the truth was shocking to her, he could only imagine what it would be like to be in her place. He longed to reach over and pat her back, but he didn't want to make her feel like he expected anything out of her, even if technically their arrangement was still valid. Right now he just felt helpless and useless, two feelings he hated above all things. And yet, he stayed at Sera's bedside until she cried herself to sleep, making sure to cover her with a blanket before silently leaving the room. 


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The next morning it took all of Severus's self restraint to keep from going up to the infirmary before breakfast. He hadn't slept well the night before, unable to close his eyes without thought assaulting him from every direction. Sera was back and she at least remembered him enough to know they'd had a relationship of sorts. After some rest and decent food, she might remember even more now and that worried him. It had been a tumultuous time in wizard history when she was cursed, and he wondered if she would recall certain details.

Like the Death Eaters, for starters. Would she remember the things they were doing that summer? The stories of their crimes that must have been going around Hogwarts at the start of her final year? And, most importantly, what would she say when she found out that he had joined them when it seemed certain she was not going to return?

But that was a bridge he'd cross when he came to it. Right now he had a bigger issue to handle. According to wizarding law, he and Seraphina were still engaged. And, with her father dead, the only way the engagement could be broken, as it was made with one of the pureblood oaths of antiquity, was if he chose to end it. For all practical purposes, Sera had no choice in the matter.

A dark side of Severus delighted in this fact momentarily. She'd been very fond of him when they were younger, and if she hadn't been cursed they would have been married these past fifteen years anyways. While it was not an ideal time for a wife to come into his life, he would take care of her to the best of his abilities. He would make sure she wasn't miserable. And considering what had happened to her, it would be best for her to go with someone who would protect her and treat her well.

Those thoughts gave him something to think about over breakfast, though he ate very little, and were dismissed quite quickly. He couldn't force Sera to marry him. He was a different person from the boy he'd been when they were originally engaged, on the outside as well as the inside. Though Sera was rightly in her early thirties, she still looked like a seventeen year old and her life experience had only gone that far. Why would she choose to be with an old man who was nothing to look at and had an even uglier past?

That should've been enough to discourage him from going to visit her. Merlin knew by the time breakfast was over he was certainly feeling very low about any chances of ever getting back what was taken from him. And yet he couldn't just let her sit in the infirmary alone. Her father was dead, her sisters estranged, she had no ties left to anyone but Severus himself.

When he finally did get to the infirmary he found Sera sitting up in bed, looking a little paler then normal but alert. She was a beautiful girl, and he felt the same embarrassment creep up into him as the first time her father brought him into the dank, shabby house to meet her. Now he was fifteen years older, most definitely not any better looking, and had fifteen years of past sins to explain. And yet, he responded the same way as he had then, a black moth drawn to the flame in her blue eyes.

"Severus," Seraphina smiled at him as he came to sit beside her. "I'm glad to see you.." A soft, shyness crossed her pretty features. "When I woke up, I thought it was all a dream for a moment."

Severus honestly had no idea what to say, though her being glad to see him made the corners of his mouth twitch ever so slightly. He finally managed to nod his agreement. "Yes, it does seem like a dream."

"I feel like I'm remembering more things." Sera shook her head a little. "But when I come to the time I was gone, the only thing I see is darkness. Nothingness."

"It's very unlikely that you will ever remember it." He examined her face closely for any signs of illness. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? A little tired, but pretty normal." She shrugged slightly. "Madame Pomfrey has been fluttering around, making sure I don't get up."

"Your body is still weak. If Madame Pomfrey thinks you should rest, then that is what you should do."

Sera made a face. "I think I'd feel better if I could go outside. It seems as if I haven't seen the sun in a very long time."

"Likely you haven't." Severus could clearly remember that almost every day that summer he'd found Sera outside, usually tucked up into a corner here or there with a book in her hands. Soon he was joining her, and the hayloft of her muggle neighbor's horse barn had become their haven. He couldn't help but wonder if she had begun to remember those sort of things yet.

Suddenly she seemed to turn somber, sighing softly. "I'm sorry about last night."

"Sera," His voice went low and firm. "You never have to apologize for being honest with me."

"Thank you," She gave him a slight smile. "But I-I shouldn't be upset about the time I've lost. I should be glad I'm still alive. People die coming out of hexes. Or the person who did this...they might have chosen this over killing me.

"That makes the curse they did use on you no less horrendous." Severus pointed out, his black eyes searching her face. He was very glad they hadn't killed her, more thankful then he'd felt about anything in a very long time.

"No, but all I've lost is time. I might not be here at all." Her eyes locked with his for a long moment before she looked away and sighed slightly. "It is a little scary, I must admit. I don't know how to contact my sisters, my father is dead, and the only people who know me are you and Dumbledore. And you both have your own lives. I'm sure you have a wife and.."

"I have not married," His voice was low and quiet as he interrupted her. "And no children."

"You haven't?" Sera raised an eyebrow and then shook her head slightly. "Well, you still have a life, Severus." Her brow creased again as something occurred to her. "What are you doing here? You were here when I woke up...did Dumbledore call you?"

The corners of Severus's mouth twitched it what could've been a sneer or a smirk. Even he didn't know which he meant to use and so decided on neither. "I am a Professor here. I am the Potions Master. And head of Slytherin house."

Sera's face didn't have to decide between emotions, a smile crossing her pretty face. "You always were brilliant in Potions. I seem to remember you tutoring me by owl when I first returned to Hogwarts that year..."

"You were panicking over a minor disaster you'd brewed in Slughorn's class in your last letter," He recalled, a touch of fondness in his voice. "You were afraid you were going to fail."

Fifteen years later, he still had the letter tucked away in a safe place. Severus could never bear to look at them, but it also brought him comfort to have, as if they were the only concrete proof of that summer. That someone could have wanted to be with him. What would Sera say now if she knew how he'd spent the last fifteen years? Inevitably it would have to revealed, but maybe he could have a few more days with her before the truth would come to light.

"I can remember a lot of that summer," She admitted in a shy voice. "Not everything, but a lot of things."

"What sort of things?" Severus asked, hesitation in the infliction of his words.

"Mostly good things," The smile warmed her face again. "We used to spend a lot of time in the hayloft of my Muggle neighbor's barn. Just talking, sometimes reading. And I remember the first time we kissed...on the roof, under the stars. I think there was a meteor shower..."

Then the smile faded slowly as another memory crossed her mind's eye. "You tending the welts my father had left on my back when I'd come in a few minutes late the night before..."

"He was a cruel man, Sera." His lip curled at the thought of Cecil Starkley. The night Severus had saved his life the man hadn't been able to defend himself against a few Muggle teenagers. Only later did he find out that Starkley preferred to raise his fists only to women. And being the only one of the three daughters left, the last few years of her life Sera had to bear the brunt of his temper herself.

"I remember enough to know that I should feel bad he's dead, but I don't." She frowned. "I know that probably sounds awful, but it's the truth. Even if it does leave me with no place to go."

"Seraphina," Severus knew the usage of her full name would carry the seriousness of the words he was about to say. "As long as I am able to do something about it, you will always have a place to go."

The smile spread across her face again, reaching this time to into the very depths of her blue eyes. She reached across the small distance between them and took his hand in hers, giving it a soft squeeze. His black eyes met hers and for the first time in almost longer then he could remember Severus felt human. 


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Severus sat with Sera and talked with her for nearly an hour before he could tell she was starting to tire. Despite her assertions that she just needed a little fresh air he could see she was still weak and vowed to make sure she didn't tax herself too much while she was still coming back from the curse. Whatever was needed, he would do it to keep her healthy and safe.  
And with him.

Their hands had stayed comfortably joined as she asked question after question about the things she could remember. What had happened to certain classmates, did he know anything about her sisters, who was the Minister of Magic. He answered everything he could, but was careful to avoid the subject of the Dark Lord, Death Eaters and the war that had been going on at the time of her disappearance. And through some great mercy, she didn't ask anything that he would have to answer with hard truths.

When her eyes started to slip close after they reached a brief silence, he laid his hand on her head, awkwardly stroking her hair. He had been with other women in the carnal way, of course, but his knowledge of affection was not much better then it had been fifteen years ago. Perhaps it was even worse. But he still felt an urge to touch her, in part to reassure himself that she was indeed still there.

His actions apparently had a soothing effect on her, because a few minutes later she seemed to be completely asleep. He stood up and carefully set the hand he had been holding on her chest. For a moment he just stood there, staring down at her sleeping form while emotions washed over him in dizzying waves. He hated feeling so out of control, so raw, but she'd had that effect on him since the first day they met.

After making sure none of Pomfrey's nurses were watching, he bent over and brushed his lips softly over her forehead. The tenderness in him was the most upsetting emotion of all, because it was the one he knew the least how to deal with.

"Ah, Severus." Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled behind his spectacles as the Potions Master walked into his office. "I've been expecting you."

"Have you now?" Severus drawled in return, giving him a slight glare as he settled himself into the chair across from the expansive desk.

The old wizard took his seat on the other side and tented his fingers, looking supremely pleased. More pleased then someone ought to be on another's account, Severus was quite sure, if Dumbledore was on the same train of mind that he was currently on.

"I've had Poppy keep me updated on young Seraphina's condition. She seems confident that the girl will make a full recovery."

While this news pleased Severus, he made no show of it on his face. "There seems to be an improvement in her, which means we must discuss her future. Her father is dead and her sisters are unavailable."

"But I believe she's still engaged." Dumbledore pointed out, a sparkle still in his eyes.

"Yes." He replied carefully. "There is that."

The old wizard before him shook his white head slightly. "Are you going to tell me you're not very well aware that it is up to you to fulfill or break the engagement, Severus?"

"Of course I am." Severus sneered lightly. "But do you think I'm the sort of man that would force a woman into marriage? A woman that is, in fact, not much more then a girl?"

Dumbledore smiled serenely in response. "I have a feeling she would be happy to wed you, Severus."

"I'm not asking for your feelings, Albus." His tone was icy. "What I am asking you, however, is if she can stay in my quarters until the matter of the engagement has been resolved."

"Wouldn't it just be easier to marry her now? Surely if you want her to stay in your quarters you want to pursue a relationship with her. And there are benefits to marriage you could be enjoying."

Now that was uncalled for, he silently fumed.

"Do you think I am a hormonal teenager that only thinks of carnal pleasures when I see a young, beautiful woman that also happens to be my fiancee?" Severus seethed at the old wizard. "That all I can concern myself with is a good -"

Dumbledore raised his hand, the serene expression gone from his face and replaced with a stony one. Apparently now Severus had gone too far, though he really didn't care. Of course he saw Sera has a beautiful woman, but he was much more concerned with her reaction to his past then any physical attractions he had to her.

He couldn't marry her and tell her later. He'd done some horrible things in his past and he wanted to start his marriage, if Sera would have him, without lies. There had been too many lies in his life and undoubtedly more to come. But with Sera he was determined to tell her the truth in all matters.

"I merely suggest, Severus, that you are complicating matters." The old wizard intoned firmly. "If you desire to take her as your wife, you are well within your rights. You owe her no explanations for your past, present or future deeds."

A nasty sneer twisted the Potion Master's face. "For someone who values the truth so highly, you seem to think that the best course of action is lies. She might not be asking about it yet, but if you're right and what we think is about to take place is indeed approaching, it is going to come to light."

"I am not suggesting lies." Suddenly Dumbledore looked like he had indeed spent a century on the earth, his voice weary and his expression downcast. "Severus, you are embarking into an area of life I know little, if anything, about. The human heart is as complicated as the human mind, minus the logic and reason. You have an honorable desire, to be honest with the girl you once loved, to want her to accept your past and believe there is better in you."

A soft smile crossed his face. "I have seen the best in you, Severus, and I know that if Seraphina looks for it, she will find it as well. And she will find herself with a very fitting husband."

He wanted to say something sarcastic about the old wizard's usual flair for the cryptic, but Severus found himself too busy thinking if those words could even come true. "I have to tell her, Albus." He finally said softly. "Whether you approve or not."

"If you feel you must, would my disapproval even stop you?" The spark had returned to Dumbledore's eyes. "I do not think it would. And I admire that in you, Severus. But we both know what is coming, and I hope you will not lose sight of that."

Foolish old man! How could he lose sight of the fact that every morning the Dark Mark was just a tiny bit clearer? The prickle of the skin across his forearm, telling him to make himself ready for the return of the Dark Lord was reminder enough, and then there was the Potter boy always in sight. He couldn't forget the promise he'd made to protect the boy, to make sure he faced his destiny, even if he tried. Even if he wanted to.

No matter how much he wanted to.

Two days later Sera was doing well enough that Madame Pomfrey felt she was ready to leave the infirmary. The elves brought her old school trunk to Severus's quarters and he had them put a cot in his bedroom. He wasn't going to take anything for granted, neither that she still wanted to marry him nor that she would be completely safe at Hogwarts.

She was dressed in faded jeans and a white peasant blouse as he led her to the bedroom, where her trunk rested at the end of the cot. Her blue eyes seemed to take in everything and a slow smile spread across her pretty face when she saw his bed wasn't far from where she would sleep.

"Very nice." Sera settled on the cot and crossed her legs. "Thank you, Severus. I appreciate you letting me stay with you."

Severus sat down on his own bed, facing her. He studied her very closely, not sure what he should say in reply. He was so horrible with emotions, and he hadn't really expressed anything but negative emotions for so long. How would he tell Sera about his past and what would come in the future if he couldn't even tell her that he wanted to uphold the engagement?

"Sera..." For someone who had seen more then a few situations where his words could mean life or death, Severus was more afraid of hearing Sera's likely rejection then he had ever been in those situations. He found himself getting up and joining Sera on her cot, taking one of her hands in both of his. Squeezing it firmly, he looked into her pale blue eyes.

"Severus?" Her voice was soft, questioning.

Rarely did Severus Snape ever just go with the flow or follow his heart, or at least what was left of it, but at that moment he dipped his head and kissed her softly on the mouth. His heart was pounding in his ears as it had been the first time he'd kissed her, and he felt the same elation when she responded. His hands let go of hers and lightly circled his waist, pulling her closer to him. Her hands rested on his chest in reply, slowly moving upwards until her arms were around his neck.

When they finally had to come up for air, Severus didn't need to say anything because Sera spoke first, smiling brightly at him. "Do you...I mean...we are still engaged, right?"

"Do you want to be?" He asked carefully, holding his breath as he waited for a reply.

"Yes." She nodded slowly. "I know a lot has changed, but I still feel the same way about you as I did when I came here for my last year of school. You're older and you seem even more sullen, though granted you were never a happy go lucky sort of bloke, but you're still the boy who gave me my first kiss on the roof."

"Oh Sera..." Severus felt a lump form in his throat. "You have no idea quite how much has changed, and I cannot even entertain the idea of fulfilling the vow before I tell you everything."

Sera's hand slid into his and she nodded for him to continue. 


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

It took Severus an almost an hour to explain to Sera everything that had happened from the time she disappeared until she'd reappeared about a week ago. And he did tell her everything, including the Dark Mark slowly coming back on his forearm and what he would have to do if the Dark Lord did indeed return again. There would be no secrets, he'd have enough of those in his future it would seem.

When he finished, he watched Sera very closely, waiting for some reaction. The expression on her pretty face was serious and she nodded very slowly as she searched for the right words.

"I remember them..." She finally said. "Lily Evans and James Potter. He asked me out once and I told him to go jump in the lake and snog the Giant Squid."

A slight smile played across Severus's lips. "I am sorry I didn't notice you until your father gave me your hand. Things would have turned out very different, perhaps."

"Would they?" Sera sighed. "I have to admit, I'm a little jealous to find out you felt that way about Lily Evans, but I was two years behind you at Hogwarts and neither of us were the type to do anything that would've caught the other's eye..." She trailed off, looking at the hand she hadn't let go of through the entire story.

Severus almost couldn't believe that she was jealous of his feelings for Lily! A beautiful girl like her wanted his heart to herself. Who would ever have thought? As he looked into her eyes he knew with complete certain things would have been different had she not disappeared. He didn't think he believed in the power of love, but now he wasn't entirely sure.

"It was a childish sort of thing," He replied in a quiet voice. "Feelings that were never returned. And if you hadn't been taken from me, one I wouldn't have clung to them for so long."

His fingers slipped beneath her chin and tilted it upwards so she would look at him. "I had feelings for you too, Sera. And you were the only one who ever showed me kindness in return. Memories of that summer have haunted me for the last fifteen years."

"Haunted?" Her pale brow creased with confusion. "Why haunted?"

"If you hadn't disappeared I would not have joined the Dark Lord's army. So many things would be different."

Sera nodded slightly. "Amongst others, Lily would have lived. Wouldn't she have?"

"Yes." Severus agreed with her, cupping the side of her face in his hand. "But she and James would have their life, and you and I would have had ours."

"We're still here." She brushed her soft lips against the palm of his hand and Severus felt his breath catch in his throat. No one had ever shown him affection before Sera and even then she hadn't been this open with it in their past, her father's anger always a threat in the background.

"We are," He agreed in a low voice.

"And if you didn't want us to be together, I wouldn't be here." A little glint of mischief colored her eyes. "Oh, maybe if you felt a duty to protect me because of our ties from my last life you'd keep me around. But you wouldn't have me sleeping a foot away from your bed."

His hand fell from her cheek and he sighed. "It is a lot to ask. You're beautiful, any man would be glad to have you, the age of your body or the age of your mind."

"Then be glad to have me." Sera whispered in return. "I wanted to be your wife fifteen years ago and I still want to your wife now, Severus. A lot of things have changed, but that hasn't. Even after everything you've told me, it doesn't change."

"Are you certain?" Severus studied her, feeling his head starting to spin with emotions. He wasn't entirely sure he liked this, one person able to break him open and spill out his feelings. Right now he felt raw, vulnerable. He hated that and it showed in the tension of his tone. "It's not going to be easy. I can't go back to being who I was when we first met. I...I don't know how to even begin doing that, Sera."

Why is that he spent the last fifteen years not speaking of his emotions but in the past week this young woman with the big blue eyes had drawn several revelations from him? It was very infuriating, but when he looked at her it was hard to feel like striking out.

"Severus," Now it was Sera's turn to take his face in her tiny hands. "Honey, you weren't exactly all light and fluff before. And with the things you've seen and been through, I don't expect you to be anything other then what you are. As long as..."

She trailed off and took her hands away, suddenly looking shy. His heart dropped when he saw her seemingly retreat back into herself. Severus wondered what he'd done to get that sudden, unexpected reaction from her when he'd tried so hard not to push her away, as tempting as his masochistic tendencies made it.

"Sera..." He took one of her hands in both of his, studying her intensely. "As long as what?"

"Could you..do you think you could ever.." Her voice was tiny, almost inaudible.

Suddenly it occurred to Severus that she was as out of her depth as he was. She'd lost her mother at a very young age and her father was an abusive drunk. He could remember the bruises he'd seen on Sera all those years ago clearly even today. They had very similar childhoods, and he knew that she wanted to be loved above all other desires.

She'd never told him herself, she guarded that secret fiercely, but he had been younger, more foolish then and apt to use his occlumency skills to find out if she really liked him or if she was just playing along because she felt stuck with him. What he saw was enough to reassure his fragile ego. And it threatened to break his heart, seeing how badly she wanted to have someone want her and love her.

He couldn't give her much else right now, but that he could give her. It wouldn't always be easy, he didn't know even if he even was capable of showing love, but he would find a way. Severus wasn't so different as the students and others around him might think. In fact, he wanted the very same thing as Sera did.

"I already do," He whispered back, leaning in to kiss her forehead. 


	8. Chapter 7

After Sera settled in to rest, Severus went to the Headmaster's office to ask him to perform the wedding ceremony. With a lack of family and friends, they would have to rely on Dumbledore to perform the bonding and witness their union. Not the kind of wedding Sera deserved, but it would have to do. They were going to be making the best of what was available for a long time.

As he suspected, the old man was very pleased that Severus had decided to marry his fiancee sooner rather then later. They decided that the ceremony would take place Friday afternoon after the last Potions class. Severus would then take Sera to his own house in Spinner's End for the weekend, so they would at least spend their first couple of days as husband and wife alone. When Severus returned to his quarters he couldn't help the small smile that touched his lips when he saw Sera curled up on her cot, sound asleep. He stood in the doorway to the bedroom, just watching her chest rise and fall softly with each breath. She'd been back a full week now and she was still a little pale and thinner then he'd like to see her, but he would make sure she got all the rest and good food she needed to get back to the state he'd last seen her in.

As he watched the woman that would become his wife in three days he suddenly felt a lump in his throat. She really did deserve better then him. He loved her, he thought that what he felt for her was love at least, and he wanted the best for her, but he didn't know if would be any good at showing that love. She needed attention and affection, two things he'd never been good at giving.

But at the same time he also knew he was too selfish to give her up. If the Dark Lord would be returning sooner rather then later, or even at all, his life was about to be put in a precarious position. Wasn't it reasonable he wanted to get a bit of happiness, or at least as close as he could come to happiness, before hand?

What if his happiness ended up costing Sera her life? He hadn't been able to protect Lily, even after selling his soul to Dumbledore, something he would never entirely forgive the old man for even if he was forever in his debt. Certainly he would never put Sera's safety in Dumbledore's hands. If he was going to marry Sera, knowing what was coming, he would protect her himself and do what was necessary to keep her safe.

He couldn't watch his other love die. And he wouldn't.

With a final glance at his sleeping fiancee he swept from the doorway and returned to the Potions class room, which was within earshot of his quarters. There were papers to grade and preparations to be made if he wanted to be able to concentrate only on his new wife over the weekend.

Several hours passed as Severus worked on grading his papers in comfortable silence. He usually hated reading essays, though he was always giving them out, but today it kept his mind away from more unpleasant things then his student's stupidity. The concerns he had about the Dark Lord's return, his safety and Sera's safety had to be pushed aside. Dumbledore could be wrong, though the Mark was still growing darker and clearer on his fore arm.

He was in the process of taking all those thoughts and compressing them into a little box that he would keep in the back of his mind when he heard the scream. At first he thought it was in his mind, but it came again. Severus hurried to his feet, his heart pounding like a jackhammer in his chest and rushed back into his quarters.

With what he'd been thinking about when he heard the scream he was very relieved to find Sera alone on her cot, though her face was twisted in what was either pain or fear. She whimpered incoherently and cried out again from whatever horror she was facing in her dream. He sat down beside her and carefully rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Sera." He spoke in a low, firm voice. "Wake up."

True to her sometimes contrary nature, Sera merely shuddered at his touch and mumbled incoherently. Begging someone not to hurt her, it would seem. That simply broke Severus's heart, what heart he had left, and he wondered if she was reliving the hex.

"Sera." His voice was more urgent now, shaking her slightly. "

"Severus," She moaned in her dream, hanging in the balance between sleep and wakefulness. "Help me...please...it hurts...help me!"

Her voice was growing more frantic and Severus carefully wrapped his arms around her, trying to get her sitting up though she was struggling lightly against him. Her pleas became more jumbled and undistinguishable, leaving him to debate whether or not to use his Occlumency on her. Before he could make the decision, however, she let out a loud yelp and stiffened.

"Dear Merlin..." She whispered, her eyes open now as she curled against Severus.

He wasn't used to having someone seek comfort from him, but he tightened his arms around Sera and pulled her close. Severus could feel her chest falling with quick, frightened breaths against his and he awkwardly ran his hand over her dark hair, trying to soothe her.

"You're safe," He whispered in her ear. "I will do everything in my power to protect you, Sera."

She didn't reply, but he felt her arms slip around him and her head lay against his chest. He rested his chin on top of her head and held her until he felt her body finally relax in his arms. Closing his eyes, he silently repeated the promise to himself.

The next morning Severus woke earlier then usual. He felt a deep warmth against his back and it took him a few moments to realize that the heat was coming from another body pressed tightly against his own. Of course it was Sera, no one else would have been able to get past his wards and into his quarters. It was a nice feeling and he enjoyed it enough he didn't move to ask her how she'd ended up in his bed.

After her nightmare they'd gone about a normal afternoon. She started perusing his book collection and he continued on with grading and preparing for the next day's classes. They had dinner together and then each picked up a book to read in companionable silence until it was time to sleep. He found himself staying awake after she had already drifting off, wanting to make sure she hadn't had another nightmare.

It was strange for him to care about another person, but it wasn't a bad feeling. It was that care that finally caused him to carefully turn over and break the warm contact at his back. As he faced Sera, her eyes fluttered open and she gave him a small, sleepy smile. A smile just for him. That was strange too.

"Sera?"

"I had another nightmare." She explained, looking a little shy. "I didn't want to wake you, but I wanted to be close. You-you made me feel so safe earlier..."

Sera shifted and closed the slight difference between them, snuggling against his chest as she'd done the night before. No one had ever really wanted to be close to him before, and certainly he'd never made anyone feel safe. Severus hesitated for a moment, then wrapped his arms around her in return.

The contact of their bodies was almost frightening. He'd been with women in the carnal way, but there was no affection involved and certainly not this sort of intimacy. And here Sera was, trusting as a lamb even though she knew he wasn't the boy she'd fallen in love with fifteen years ago, pressed into his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I like this," Sera whispered, almost too quiet for him to hear her.

"I do too," Severus whispered in return, nuzzling his face into her hair, black as his but shiny and soft. "Rest, Sera, it is still early and you need it."

She sighed sleepily and closed her eyes. "I'm not used to someone taking care of me."

"Get used to it." He replied, also feeling sleep tug at him. "I may not be very good at it, but I'm going to take care of you."

As he closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of her body against his own and in his arms, he felt much more confident about his abilities to be a husband. It wouldn't be easy, but it was his mission now to give Sera the kind of care she'd always deserved. Dark Lord and Dumbledore both be damned. He'd made a vow to the old wizard, but he was about to make a vow to the girl that returned to him after so many years, and he would go to the ends of the earth to keep them both.

Because he had loved Lily and because he did love Seraphina.


	9. Chapter 8

Title: Everything Old Is New Again (Chapter Eight)  
Author: Mary Ann Summers Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 2649 Pairings: Snape/OFC Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine.  
Story Summary: Fifteen years ago, something was taken from Severus Snape. When she is returned to him, will he be able to unravel the mystery of her disapperance in time to save her and give him a second chance at the life he'd thought he'd lost?

The morning he was to become a wedded man Severus Snape woke with his fiancee's back pressed firmly against his chest. He hadn't been able to kick Sera out of his bed, though he'd made a point to be a gentleman. There would be time for the other things, but right now it was just nice to have a warm body beside his at night, something he'd never really experience before her return.

There were many new experiences for him in the past two weeks, so many it seemed overwhelming at times. When October began he didn't think he'd end it a married man, he had pictured himself forced to sit through the Halloween feast and then spending rest of the night in his quarters mourning the one he'd loved and lost. It was six days away from the anniversary of Lily's death, and she'd never seemed so far away as she did this year.

But it wasn't because she was dead or had never returned his love in the first place, it was because of Seraphina. It was harder to mourn for what never was when he had a beautiful young woman at his side that wanted to be there. It was a strange thing really, to be able to touch her when he wanted and know she welcomed it. To be able to talk to someone comfortably or be equally comfortable in shared silence.

Sera sighed in her sleep and he rand his hand over her glossy black hair. Since the morning she'd turned up in his bed she'd only had one more nightmare and he was able to calm her before she even woke up just by holding her in his arms. Few people would be able to believe that someone would take comfort in Severus Snape, which made his future wife even more of a treasure. He nuzzled his face into her shoulder and breathed in the scent of her skin.

For the first time in his life he had a person that belonged entirely to him.

He laid there for a long time, listening to her soft breathing until it was time to get up. It was a relief to see her sleeping so soundly and it was hard to finally extricate himself from her and slip out of bed carefully, trying not to wake her. She still needed rest and he was constantly on the look out for any sign of relapse in her health.

When he returned from the bathroom minutes later dressed and ready for breakfast he found Sera sitting on the edge of their bed, brushing her hair. Severus couldn't help but watch the way she smoothed out the waist length veil of black hair, then began to expertly twist it into a single, thick braid starting at the nape of her neck.

Once she was finished she secured it with a rubber band, the elastic snapping as it was turned around the width of hair for the last time. Her blue eyes found him and the same smile she always greeted with him spread across her face. Though this morning he saw a bit of shyness in it, and he felt a little stirring in his stomach when he thought of it's meaning.

"Today's the big day." She finally said, standing up and walking over to him.

"It is," A slight smile tugged at the corners of Severus's mouth. He suddenly felt as shy as a school boy and he didn't know what else to say. He wasn't good at talking about emotions, leaving him with no way to properly express the joy he felt about her becoming his wife. Or the fear that she deserved better and he wasn't good enough for her.

Instead he bent down and kissed her tenderly, one hand gently cradling her cheek. Sera's reply back was firm and eager, making a shiver go down his spine when he thought of what would come that night. He deepened the kiss, until they were sharing the same breath, holding on as long as he could until they both needed air. When their lips finally parted he could see in her eyes that she understood what he couldn't say with words.

The day passed by slower then any other day Severus had spent teaching. Usually work was a good way to get his mind off of what troubled him, but today he was instead looking forward to the weekend he would spend with Sera. Their first weekend as a married couple. An exciting thought, and at the same time a staggering one.

The last class of the day, of course, had to be the fourth year group with the insufferable Potter and his walking disaster friend Neville Longbottom. If the students knew that their teacher was getting married that evening they would've expected to find him in a good mood, not the stormy mood he taught the class with, perhaps taking some of his nerves out on them. However, he needn't feel guilty because Longbottom managed to explode his Potion for the third time so far that year, which allowed Severus the brusque observation that by the time the school year was over the dunderhead wouldn't have any fingers left.

Of course cleaning up Longbottom's disaster kept him busy for a good twenty minutes after class was over. Severus didn't do the cleaning, it was up to the students to take care of their mistakes as long as they weren't dangerous, but he didn't trust the boy of a thousand fumbles around his potion making equipment alone. On a normal day he would've brooded about telling Dumbledore he needed more room in the dungeons but had yet to see it. Today, however, that was the last thing on his mind as he finally waved Longbottom out of the classroom and locked it tightly against pilfering adolescents.

The next surprise Severus encountered, however, was of a better kind. When he walked into his quarters he was greeted by the site of Sera wearing a simple white dress. It was a little too big on her and he was sure she'd borrowed it from one of the female professors, but there was something about seeing his future wife in a white dress for their handfasting.

"Do you like it?" She smiled shyly as she approached him. "I was a little worried about getting married in jeans, my clothing is so out of date anyways, and then Professor McGonagall was here with a dress she thought would fit..."

"I like it." He answered honestly, reaching out to touch the silky black hair that pooled around her shoulders, free of it's usual braid. "I need just a few minutes to change my clothes. Dumbledore will be expecting us soon."

Sera nodded and he left the room, unable to keep himself from one last glance at his bride before heading into the bedroom. There were two valises sitting on the bed, all ready for their weekend at Spinner's End. He hadn't asked her to do it, she just did. His ability to be a husband might be in question, but it already seemed like she was going to take to being a wife splendidly.

A few minutes later he met her in the small sitting room again. It didn't really look like he'd changed his clothing other then the fact the scent of potion ingredients wasn't clinging to the black fabric, but he'd put on his best set for the handfasting, even if it was just going to be them, Dumbledore, and probably Minerva as a witness. But it didn't matter, they were finally getting married, even if it was fifteen years later then they had planned.

It was the first time that Sera had emerged from Severus's quarters since moving out of the infirmary and he realized he'd been so worried about her health and her accepting his past that he didn't give much thought to the future beyond the ambiguous thought he would protect her at all costs. Would she start taking meals at the staff table like Flitwick's wife? What would she do all day when he was teaching? And, perhaps the worst question, if the Dark Lord returned, how would he hide his marriage? Would he hide his marriage?

He noticed Sera's hesitance as they walked down the hall and he rested his hand comfortably behind her elbow. Most of the students were in class or the common rooms, and the staff already knew that his fiancee had returned. Despite the best intentions of Dumbledore and Minerva, the news had gotten around to the staff faster then he thought it would. And if a student did catch them together, it was no concern of theirs. There had never been a rule at Hogwarts that a Professor couldn't have a wife.

As luck would have it, they found themselves in front of the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to the Headmaster's office without seeing a single soul in the hallways. Severus pursed his lips for a moment then repeated the password, some ridiculous candy name that he was certain the students could figure out if they truly wanted to. As the stone creature leapt to the side, he took one of Sera's tiny hands in his and pulled her inside.

"It looks just like it did fifteen years ago," She murmured as they traveled up the spiral staircase, each step bringing more silver objects and the huge mahogany desk into sight.

"As do you, young Seraphina." Dumbledore responded with a smile once they were on the upper floor. "You look so very much like your mother did at this age."

Sera looked a little uncomfortable and Severus gave her hand a soft squeeze. Her mother had died when she was not much more than a toddler and it had spiraled her life into a cycle of being abused and overworked by her father until he finally gave her away to Severus in a drunken lapse of judgement. The moment he spotted the bruises on the girl's arm he knew he couldn't allow Starkley a second thought on the matter...his childhood had been much the same.

"Thank you," She finally said with a soft smile. "And thank you for agreeing to perform the handfasting."

The old wizard merely smiled serenely, his eyes twinkling behind his spectacles. Minerva McGonagall entered the room with a small clearing of her throat and met Dumbledore's eyes. Something seemed to pass between them and the muscles in her jaw tensed. Severus could imagine that Minerva didn't approve much of the union about to take place, and he honestly could care less.

"Well," She said stiffly, turning to Sera. "The dress fit alright. Are you ready to begin?"

No one could miss the fact she spoke directly to Sera, as if trying to give her a last chance at freedom. To Severus's great relief she smiled and nodded, turning to look at her future husband with eyes that held nothing but warmth.

For just a fleeting moment he wanted to be the one to run. He wasn't good at loving, at taking care of someone else. How could he even begin to be the husband she deserved? And what if things took the course Dumbledore was certain they were starting down? He'd be putting her life into danger along with his if they were bound together this way.

And then Sera squeezed his hand, the simple act of which made his apprehensions easier to put aside. He turned to look at her and knew at that moment he needed her. To love and possess and bring a small bit of his heart back to life. That need was selfish, he wasn't too blind to see that, but he also knew that he loved her in return and would do the best he could to give her the life she'd always deserved.

"If there are more no objections, I think we'll want to begin so Severus and Seraphina can be at Spinner's End before dark." Still smiling serenely he motioned for the couple to stand in front of him. "Severus, if you would take Sera's left hand in your own left..."

Severus let go of the hand he'd been holding and took hold of her other hand, looking at her as if he expected her to disappear any moment. In her pale blue eyes he could see that she loved him, and she said the same, but he still couldn't entirely believe someone would love him. Especially not someone young and beautiful, with her whole life ahead of her.

"The bonds of matrimony are not something to go into lightly, but with honesty, love and mutual respect," Dumbledore spoke softly as he took out his wand. "Severus, Seraphina, you are about to be bound to each other for ideally the rest of your lives, until disownment or death separates you."

He turned to Severus, his expression serious. "Severus, do you consent to be bound to Seraphina in matrimony, to care for her, to love her, and to protect her until death comes between you?"

"Yes," Severus said quietly, staring into Sera's eyes intently. Their eyes locked and he pressed ahead a little with his mind, needing to know for sure. For a brief moment he had sight of her feelings and the love he saw there made him feel more naked then he ever had in his entire life. He withdrew quickly, seeing the slight furrow of Sera's brow, though from his invasion of her mind or the pause in his vows he didn't know.

"I do." He added, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

Her forehead smoothed and a soft smile crossed her features again, much to his relief. A cord of light entwined his arm and crossed their joined hands to trail around Sera's arm, glowing a faint blue. A blue not so very different then his bride's eyes.

"Seraphina," Dumbledore turned to her next. "Do you consent to be bound to Severus in matrimony, to care for him, to love him, and to protect him until death comes between you?"

She nodded, her smile growing and the slightest mist of tears rising in her eyes. "Yes, I do."

A second light cord wrapped around her arm, this one a soft yellow, and continued past their hands to wrap around Severus's arm. The cords were not touching, but very close together, their colors contrasting and complimenting each other.

"Since you both consent, it is my great honor and delight to bind you together." Dumbledore smiled and tapped their joined hands twice.

The blue and yellow cords seemed to meld together into a single green cord, glowing brightly and warm against their skin. It brightened for several seconds, before slowly fading and disappearing. It didn't take more then twenty seconds, but Severus found himself holding his breath anyways.

"You are now...husband...and wife..." Dumbledore smiled, dragging out each word to show it's gravity. Usually his more dramatic effects annoyed Severus, but he could care less about how the old man said it. The point was it was said and done.

Severus pulled Sera to his chest with the hand he was still holding tightly, dipping his head down to catch his wife's lips tenderly with his own. Her eyes fluttered closed and her free hand reached up to rest on his cheek, her own lips responding firmly. His free hand ran softly over her head as the kiss simmered and burned between them, fingers trailing down to rest at the nape of her neck. When they finally parted, he rested his forehead on hers.

Dumbledore was smiling more then ever and Minerva was looking on at the couple with disapproval bright in her eyes, but nothing and no one mattered to Severus, for he had never known a more perfect moment in his entire life. 


End file.
